{ when you don't understand }

When life seems dark.  Hopeless, honestly.

When it seems like there's no end in sight.  When you've lost joy in everything, and just count down the hours until another day.

When you hope to wake up feeling yourself ; when you want to enjoy life again.

But wake up everyday, and feel the same.  But try to find a joy through it all, even when the tunnel of life is dark with no end in sight.

These are the trials that are the hardest.  When you don't feel God near.  It's one thing to walk through a season of suffering, but get the peace, and somewhat beautiful feeling of having Him hold you.  Feeling His strength, and knowing that He's working all things for good.

It makes the trials seem somehow, in some way, bearable.

But when you don't have that presence.  When you feel like He's left you.  That He's pressing you as far as He can; that any moment you'll break under the weight of life, and feel like He's forgotten you.

When you don't understand...... that's when any ounce of faith you have must be gathered, built upon, and grasped at.  

Because that's all you have.  Otherwise you become completely depressed, and instead of saying with Job, "though He slay me, yet I will praise Him," you fall into anger.  Resentment.  And you allow yourself to give up on trying to worship and glorify Him.  

So when you don't understand:

somehow cling to the truth that He does know.

And breathe.