{ life }

Trying to get back into life, when everything in you says no.

Trying to mix and mingle, put him out of my mind, become the single Kaylee again.

Trying to not say his name when I talk to people.  Trying to not look for him when I'm out.

Trying to make myself lay aside the dream/hope of an us. 

People tell me I'm doing good.  That they wouldn't know I'm struggling this much emotionally with it still, after 3 months.

They don't know how much life just...... how hard life is right now.

How, day by day, I'm trying to find joy.  Trying to learn lessons.  Trying to be ok.

And feeling empty.  Alone.  Depressed.  Confused.

And wanting-pleading with God for- my best friend.