{ irritable }

Irritable.  

That's the best way to describe me now.  Irritable, moody, sometimes fine, other times completely exhausted.

And I'm tired of being this way.  But I can't change it.  I can't change my feelings.  And that makes me so mad.  So mad that I'm still, STILL, reeling from this.

When do you give yourself grace to just breathe, but when do you push yourself to suppress your emotions?  

When does this end?  This....... being miserable.  But trying not to be.  But not being able to shake it.

I want to be stronger than this; but it's been a rough 3 years, and I'm tired of this.  This hopelessness that causes me to be hopeless.  Lifeless.  Seeing nothing but a long dark tunnel.

The Lord isn't breaking me- He has broken me.  I'm done.