{ trying to rest }

Rest.  

Resting in God's timing.  Resting in His ways.  Resting in the knowledge that His ways aren't our ways.  Resting in the peace He's given me to wait.  To be still.  To not interfere.  Allowing things to be.  

Because deep down, I have a peace about Tim.  A peace that I didn't have fully before.  It's a peace that the timing wasn't right.  That I needed to grow, and so did Tim.  

A peace that means I need to be praying for him. Daily.  Lifting him up in constant, persistent prayer.

Because he's my person.  The person I want to do life with.  The person I want to share everything with, be close to, serve the Lord with, person.

But I have to rest.  Rest that God will bring us together in His time.  Rest that everything will work together for good.  And that I can't try to "fix" things.  To make something happen sooner than it needs to.

Am I just holding onto something that will never happen?  Maybe.

Will I look back and roll my eyes at myself?  Maybe.

Am I just denying the facts/truth?  Maybe.

But I have a peace to rest and pray for Tim.

And a peace that tells me everything will be ok, and that we'll end up together.

And that's all I can do.

Rest.